Why Do I Hate Looking in the Mirror? How to Accept Your Reflection

Megan Smith
 min read

‘I hate looking in the mirror!’ How many times have you said that?

Why Do I Hate Looking in the Mirror? How to Accept Your ReflectionEvery morning, it can become the same struggle: a quick glance in the mirror, and it’s a disappointment. At best, it’s not satisfying enough.

As a whole, few are happy with their reflection. We tend to focus on what we perceive as flaws, and this may come from our role models as a child. Today’s society has an impossibly high standard set by celebrities, and that challenges our self-confidence.

“Oh I feel beautiful today” or “I look pretty good this morning” are phrases that we don’t say often enough. But why so much dissatisfaction?

I hate looking in the mirror: Introduction

The mirror seems to give us another image, another reflection than the one we hope for. This feeling is widely shared and perhaps even pervasive.

Even if we put on a lovely dress or a nice tie, the doubt always remains, and we question our physical appearance. However, there is nothing wrong with that! Indeed, it is one of the most common complexes.

Feeling inferior, seeming not to be up to the task, or simply doubting oneself are common feelings.

People who feel comfortable with their body and style or don’t give it much importance have good self-esteem and self-image.

However, this self-image is subjective and fragile. It can be challenged over time and by events in each person’s life.

Whether you are a man or a woman, there is no difference!

Men can also be dissatisfied with their physical appearance and the image they see in the mirror.

Indeed, they may never see themselves as they are and aren’t reassured by positive words. They may simply be acutely aware of a belly that is not muscular enough or hair that is a little flat.

For men, image and beauty are also very important. Following the evolution of our society, we may think that this phenomenon is recent and that society imposes beauty standards.

However, the care for a new outfit or the size of a beard or sideburn is not new.

Whatever one may think, the look of others is not the real cause of this complex. Indeed, this look can be burdensome, but it is not the cause of this focus on a physical detail. The complexes reveal more, and their reason is much more profound.

Focusing only on defects or unattractive details

Often when we look at ourselves in front of the mirror, we tend to look more at our flaws, such as imperfect knees, a bulging belly, or too-large buttocks.

So why don’t we try to focus on our better physical qualities, such as a shiny set of teeth, a healthy head of hair, or that overall harmony that doesn’t lack charm?

When we look in the mirror and see something we don’t like, it can become an obsession because it wholly and continuously captures all our attention. And if you find several defects, it can be even worse!

In this type of situation, no amount of words or advice can relieve the person of that complex.

The latter will feel either “not enough” or “too much.” A person with such a complex will focus on embarrassing details that are ultimately only embarrassing for them.

Seeing your teenage flaws in the mirror

Who hasn’t had a sister who called them “puffy,” a mother who pointed out our overweight, or a grandmother who was a bit awkward and pointed out our physical defects?

All these remarks of people who settle their own complex through their offspring can be damaging.

Indeed, suppose the parents had their own complexes and concerns about their physical appearance. In that case, their children will likely adopt similar attitudes.

If a teenager has been regularly talked down to, the risk of being convinced that they are flawed in some way can be acute.

Unfortunately, sometimes this complex does not disappear and continues into the young adult’s life.

Our body, which is different from others and might stop us from having a good social life, is often a source of suffering.

One fears mockery, and the complex is anchored in the personality and will start to develop and can affect self-esteem.

All those teenage complexes can still be present when you look in the mirror.

Is it possible to inherit your mother’s complexes?

Being your mother’s daughter does not only mean that you look like her: some physical aspects can be found, but it is not about physical traits.

In fact, it would be more about the mother’s relationship with her general appearance and femininity. So was the mother comfortable with her appearance, did physical appearance matter to her?

If a mother thought she was too fat or not pretty enough doesn’t mean that she will have passed on her complex to her daughter. However, it will undoubtedly have marked her with its vulnerability.

Depending on her attitude towards her child (by saying positive or negative things), this will allow the child to love himself for what he is and not what he seems.

Indeed, the mother will play an important (but not determining) role in what her child will become later.

Fortunately, other adults in the child’s life can also be an identifying marker.

Conforming to society’s standards

Society’s “standards” seem to set the bar very high. Indeed, we find girls who are tall, thin, with beautiful hair and perfect teeth.

These dream creatures are everywhere in magazines, on television, or in movies.

However, what about in our daily life? Look around you: not all women are like that! And yet, this is the kind of model most women want to look like.

Today, the media have appropriated fantasies and dreams and imposed them on us as a norm. Indeed, on the cover of a magazine, we will never find a wrinkled woman because it would not sell.

By refusing to see ourselves in the face, we seek to escape from reality in favor of real icons.

I hate looking in the mirror: Conclusion

Looking in the mirror can reveal our physical defects. These may be just occasional or may have been ingrained in us since adolescence.

Today’s media sells us dreams and tries to impose physical standards on us when each person is different in the end.

It is essential to remember that you are unique, with or without flaws, and no matter what people think of you, the important thing is to love yourself. And stop thinking ‘I hate looking in the mirror.’ Be proud of yourself and stop being so hard on yourself.

About Megan Smith

Megan has been fighting overweight and her plus size since her teenage years. After trying all types of remedies without success, she started doing her own research. Megan founded Plus Size Zeal to share her findings. She also developed various detailed buying guides for plus-size people in order to make their lives easier and more comfortable. Read More